Life Sucks Sometimes, Especially When You Look At It Wrong

I havent written about me all week. Well, I did write this insane raging blog that I took down and it is now safely tucked away in my drafts. I could pull it out any day but I really dont want to spout off things that could hurt people I love and care about. See they dont realize they make my eye twitch. I think Heidi saw it because she posted a wonderful, eye opening blog just for me because I had a bad day. It made me feel all better. Thank you again, Heidi.

I also felt a little selfish and self centered when I went back a few hours later and read what I had written. I realized I needed to focus more on the good things in my life ever how small and few they may be. I cant stand it when I am angry all the time. It eats through my soul.

I did have a very stressful week. I have to realize that sometimes life is just that way. My problem is that I think people should always agree with me, because I think Im always right. I think people should mind there on business, but listen to me whine all day when things arent going right. Well, I really dont think people should mind their own business, they should just agree with me. Or understand what is going on in my head. The reality is I am not always right and poeple dont always understand situations I may be going through. I know I dont always understand other people's problems. People deal with their problems the best way they can most of the time hoping to get through them one step at a time. I got to remember that understanding is a two way street.

One of the most amazing things that has happened to me this week is that I have reconnected with 4 wonderful people from my past. It started out with reconnecting with one person and now it kind of snow balled. Everyone wants in on the "Lynn" action. They come from a job I had for 13 years and we were all very close. The job ended badly because of wrong and sometimes bizzare actions on my part. I found out that even with my short comings they have missed me and wanted to know how I am and they are just as happy to talk to me again as I am them. We have been catching up on each others lives all week. It means a lot to me to be back in touch with these people. We not only worked together, but we were friends and we kept up with others personal lives. It's just been great.

Then there is the work thing. Even though my days are long, I need both jobs to make ends meet and have something extra to treat myself with at the end of all the working. I worried so much during Christmas that I would lose my temporary job at Walmart and that I would once again have to start looking for a job. I dont have to do that because my job is permanent now. Even though I am officially listed as part time, I have been getting 35 hours a week there. Its hard to remember sometimes how worried I was, but it is important to know that at least I can take care of myself, especially now when so many people are getting laid off and companies are shutting down. I am pretty sure Walmart is going to be around through these tough times. So there is job security there.

Life is tough and it isnt always easy to keep a positive frame of mind on a daily basis. So just for today I plan to pull myself up and get rid of the anger and self pity that I wallowed in all week.

That's my plan.