The Wagon

As much as I love the horses I know I will never actually ride one. I just cant get rid of the fear of climbing on the back of an animal and trusting it to do what I tell it to. Petting the horse is good enough for me. I love talking to them, feeding them, and loving on them.

Yesterday I got a new experience with the horses. Rosie to be exact. Rosie if one of my favorites and she has learned to pull the wagon. Lester and I got her hooked up and we took off down the road for an hour and half wagon ride. The sun was shining, a little breeze in the air and fall colors everywhere. I had a Smirnoff's Green Apple Ice (well a six pack) and it was totally awesome! I loved it! I think I am addicted to it.

As we road Lester pointed out different peoples houses and told me stories about growing up. Cars drove by and people waved. Rosie was not disturbed by the traffic at all. Dogs followed us for a bit when we would pass by the yard. One mother had her toddler outside and it was a big thrill for that baby. A little girl ran out and watched screamed "Have a nice day!"

It didnt seem like an hour and a half. But it was great. Rosie did great, Lester is great and life is great.

Kinda scares me a little.

My Newest Friends

I have been taking a few pictures of the animals around the house. There are MANY more animals but I have a few I wanted to share.

This is Elsie, the 6 month old colt. Her Momma is in the background. She is a little doll. She loves, loves, LOVES to be petted.

This is Gracie--one of the miniature ponies. we have since cut her mane off because she had a terrible Tina Turner look going for her. You cant really tell how bad it was because her head is down. We also believe she is preggers.

Meet Willie--the father of the possible baby Gracie will have. They are in love and you cant separate them. If you do, Willie goes nuts. Also, he will most likely be losing those nuts very soon.

This is Orso. He is Lucky's newest friend. Sorry about the penis being out, at the time I didnt realize he was so excited.

One of our black chickens.

Sweet little Jasper the donkey. He is the biggest baby I have ever seen and I think he is just beautiful. I love him. When I go outside and he sees me he comes running and he yells the whole way.

The cock of the walk. He is about 3 years old and pretty much rules the chicken yard.

The ducks. They are fun to watch. When I go out and change the water in their pool they play and play and play.

As always, my Lucky. Notice she is no longer chained and she is sooooo happy. She has only killed one chicken and I think that was by accident. She just played with it a little too hard. We are learning not to do that anymore.

This is just a few. We have a lot more horses and I am going to take more photos. There are two more horses where these animals are - which is the pasture in the backyard. We have 2 other locations with horses and I cant wait to share these horses with you. Oh, and we have 2 doves also that I will get pictures of. They are really sweet babies too.

Chickens, Rats, Horses, Dogs and Men

It has been a long time since I last posted. See, my hard drive died. I buried it a week ago and got a replacement so now I am up and running again. Life without a computer leaves a lot to be desired. I love being online. I dont think I would ever tire of it.

I am settling down in my new place. There is a lot to be learned when you live around animals and have to take care of them. I have a list. I love lists.

1. Chickens will eat anything. Even chicken.

2. Horses love to eat sweet oats. They will run over you to get to the oats.

3. Gofer rats love chicken feed. I know this because we may have to burn the chicken house to get rid of them. Shotguns work but they dont kill but one at time. We have too many to count.

4. A gopher rat can kill a small chicken.

5. Since I hate rats, the gopher rats make me have nightmares.

6. I can live easily with 2 men. Why havent I done this before now?

7. Lester can eat 4 BLT's with chips on the side in one meal. With 4 pieces of bacon to a sandwich you would need a little over a pound of bacon for Lester alone.

8. Hispanic TV is not fun to watch for me.

9. Roosters crow all day long. Sunrise is just the beginning.

10. You must wave to everyone you see when driving down the road in my small town or they think you are rude.

These are just a few things I have learned. Everyday is a new beginning. Oh--one more thing--Lucky has learned a miniature horse will kick her ass if she tries to take it's food. She also has learned a miniature horse is not just another big dog.

Peace In My Life

My first week in my new place has come and gone. It feels so wonderful. I absolutely love it here. I feel like a blanket has been wrapped around me and I am safe and secure. This has been better than I ever thought it would be. It is quiet, fun, beautiful and entertaining. Lester is the bomb and Alvaro is quiet but I can tell I can depend on him whenever I need to.

I got moved in in record time and once I was all settled in I discovered my love for the back porch. It looks out over the pastures with the chickens roaming around. Jasper the donkey and Poncho the mule are always around. They start braying when I come out begging for me to come pet them. If I walk out there they follow me around like dogs. We have a miniature pony named Willie and he is a doll. The other horses are at a nearby location but they get brought down to the house often. However, I think they will stay where they are for the winter. The ducks swim in their pools and they are interesting to watch.

I look forward to going home everyday. Who would have though that my loner attitude would be so content with living with two other people? But I am. Strangely enough I am. They both seem so happy to have me here and I feel as if I have been here forever instead of just one week.

A weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can financially make ends meet and emotionally I have support from my friends. I certainly dont feel lonely anymore. It is impossible.

Life is good just for today.

Rain, rain go away

It has rained everyday here now for a long time. Possibly 40 days and 40 nights. I am sick of the rain. It is getting very annoying and not to mention everything is soaked to the bone. Including me. Constant, daily rain makes my bones ache.

Then there is the fact that I am trying to move. Sunday is the official day and I am praying that it stops for at least that one day. I get too uptight when I am preparing to move. I have already begun the process by taking a car load at a time down there. I am very amazed at the amount of junk I still have. The memories I have held on to are being thrown out. I am taking steps to break the final ties to my last relationship. Which, by the way has been over for 4 years. But the ties are still there. For the life of me I dont know why.

Speaking of that old relationship, he called last night to tell me he was in love and getting married. Mind you it was only 3 weeks ago he called and wanted to move back to Birmingham and stay with me till he got on his feet. So this latest news is just another clue that he is running from one thing to the other to make his life right.

I think he wanted me to be sad about the news. I laughed. He was offended. I pointed out to him that he keeps jumping from one thing to the next. This girl is supposed to be the real deal. I asked questions about this poor victim and found out she was a Benefits Manager for a large oil company in Louisiana. Now if that is true, she makes a lot of money. So this only tells me that he has not changed and she is looking like a really soft pillow to fall on when he busts his ass again. I was that pillow at one time and when I lost my big paying job and the money was gone so was he. Like a blink of an eye. So much for better or for worse.

So for all the time that has past by he still is the same.

Out go more memories with little regret. I am keeping nothing to remind me of this painful time except the ashes of his father that he has left in my care. That is out of respect for his father. Not him.

I dont know why I have held on to this thing with Jeff. I loved him dearly and it was without a doubt one of the most destructive times in my life. I dont talk much about the hurt I have felt since he left. I havent because I cannot explain why I loved him so much. Why I could love someone who totally ruined me and left without a word is hard to explain. Since I dont understand these feelings I am sure no one else would. So I have kept a lot of things to myself.

Today I continue throwing out the past. I continue to move past things. I feel like I am going to be free soon.

Did You Know A Horse Wont Move If It Doesnt Want Too?

The other day I was down at the place where I am going to move, home alone, cooking a little dinner for everyone. Very quiet and peaceful. I just love the atmosphere of where I am moving. You can hear the chickens out back and every once in a while the donkey or mule brays. It is cool.

I am cooking and I take a glance out the window, weird, traffic is backed up. Wow, wreck? No. Not a wreck. Rosie, the horse is crossing the road to get to the other side. Yep. She got out of the electric fence. The fence that is supposed to keep her in. I was assured of that when I asked about it. Because I was going to be alone with horses and mules and chickens and geese and all the other animals and I didnt want ANYTHING to go wrong. What I know about horses you can put in a thimble, I am still learning. So, I had a learning experience.

I go outside and she gets to the other side safely. Thank God! She has her bridle on and I think no problem. Just grab the bridle and lead her back. Easy, cheesy. There was some really nice tall grass over on the other side of the road. Rosie was eating it and having quite a good dinner. By the way, pork chops were frying on my stove and biscuits were in the oven needing to be taken out while this was going on. My dinner.

I reach for Rosie, she moves away. Every time I try she moves further away and gets a little more agitated. She will not even think about leaving that grass. The result is I am chasing her. Along the side of the road with traffic. This could get ugly I could tell. So I call Lester and tell him Rosie is out. Well, he finally lets me in on the fact that Rosie has never been in the electric fence and she must be able to get out. Ya think? I believe I tried to go over the security of the electric fence BEFORE he left. Make a note not to always believe Lester. He and I now have slight trust issues.

He tells me to go get a bucket of sweet oats and she will follow me back to the house. He also tells me to take her to the back yard instead of the pasture and go through the garden. He says I can get through the garden because where it was blocked by this huge gourd vine on the gate, the vine is now gone and I should have no problem. So I went and got a bucket of oats.

Pork chops are still frying and biscuits are still burning. The house will burn but the horse will live. And the mule and donkey see that I grab a bucket of sweet oats and they want some. So they start raising hell.

I go with the bucket and Rosie has to be convinced she isnt being tricked. I finally get her attention and she is hypnotized by the bucket. She loves sweet oats better than anything and the grass on the side of the road was abandoned. I start walking back to the house and she starts running behind me. Now Rosie is young, she is a little hyper and and very excited about the sweet oats. So she is jumping and trotting which is not good because I am scared of the excitement - afraid I will be kicked by accident. Very nervous. I get to the garden gate and to my dismay I noticed that yes--PART of the gourd vine has been removed, but more than half remains. HALF. The gate will not open. At least not easily. Another note about trusting Lester, the minor trust issue gets bigger. I start shoving and working on the gate. Rosie is trying to get the bucket and I wont let her have it, she gets pissed and starts back to the grass. I guess she is thinking while I do this she will at least eat some more grass. This is not the decision I want her to make so I have to beg and swing the bucket under her nose while pushing and shoving the gate with the other hand and praying to God she doesnt kick me.

Pork chops burning and biscuits are still on the stove, more than likely destroyed by this time.

I get the gate open and in we go. Rosie gets her sweet oats, the donkey and mule are still raising hell and I get in the house and save the pork chops and biscuits.

Did I mention at one point during all this I managed to get some sweet oats to the donkey and mule so they would shut the fuck up? And the electric fence got me good on the under side of my arm. The fence works by the way.

Easy, cheesy!

Throwing Things Away

I know I just moved a little over a year ago. But I still have so much junk!!!! How in the hell do I get this stuff? I have to throw it away because there is no way to take it with me and I dont need it. Maybe this move to someone elses house is a sort of divine intervention.

There are some horrible items. Things like the bags of clothing your mother sends home with you that dont fit or are so horrible you would never wear them, not even around the house. But I keep them because she gave them to me. Or maybe I was just too lazy to throw them out. Whatever, I have a ton of clothing that falls into this category--out it goes.

What to do with that coffee table that has one leg broken but glued back on? It is old and could be refinished and the leg fixed and it would be a gorgeous piece of furniture. I have been meaning to do this for 3 years. Out it goes. I will never fix it. Ever.

My couch. Oh dear I cant decide about it. It needs to be recovered but I could buy a cover and put over it. Couches are expensive. I dont have anywhere to put it right now and the shed may not hold it. I can decide about it and will think about it later.

Shoes--tons of shoes that range fro $1 to $10 bucks. Lots of them and some dont have their mate. I am getting rid of them. I will only keep the ones I wear and that goes for the ton of purses also. See I wear shoes and carry purses until they are falling apart. Then they are thrown in the closet and never seen again. Worthless items that I wouldnt send to the thrift store. So landfill it is.

Pots and pans that have seen better days. Pots and pans that I dont use because the Teflon will come off in your food. Not sure why I still have those. Well, gone but not forgotten.

The list goes on and on. I have stuff like this crammed everywhere. And I brought it with me last time I moved. Not sure what I was thinking. My grandmother was like this and mother always said it was because she lived through The Great Depression and wanted to stay prepared for the next one. I didnt live through The Great Depression but I am poor and cant afford to replace a lot of things. Still, it doesnt make sense that I hoard things that are too worn out to be used and too ugly to put on my back. If I had to wear those cloths out I would just stay home.

I have alot to do, mostly sorting and throwing out. I may not have a lot of crap when Im through. That is scary. Im not sure what I would do without my junk. But I have heard this hoarding thing can become a disease and I sure dont need another disease. I guess I should think of this as a kind of cleansing of my heart and soul. Throwing away bad memories and tough times to look forward to a better day. Because that is my hope, that this is the beginning of a better day for me. I know there will still be hard times, but I am HOPING that those times arent quite as often or nearly as hard. I am also hoping there will be a friend that is finally close by to listen to me in person and not from miles away. I want this to be the end of all the lonliness and I want to have some joy that comes right out of my house where I live and I dont have to go somewhere to find it.

Before I leave you I also have several lamps that no longer work if anyone is interested. They used to be really nice.