Tuesday, April 8, 2008


James is the son of my ex, Lewis. Me and Lewis were together for 13 years and have known each other all our lives. I remember when James was born. He was a BIG baby. I wish I could remember the exact weight but it was a long time ago. I know it was over 10lbs. I am sure of that. His mother was 90lbs. soaking wet.

James was a good child. Very independent. He had to be. His mother was an alcoholic and his father was an addict and he was mostly raised by his Grandmother who worked 2 jobs and as long as the house was standing when she got home no questions were asked and all was well with the world.

When James came to live with me it was because he wanted to go the Alabama School of Fine Arts. A school for the gifted and James excelled in Math. His father and I were together but Lewis was struggling to get sober. (He has about 10 years sober now). Me and James were close. We had great times together and we laughed a lot. James left the School of Fine Arts after two years to go back to Tuscaloosa and play football. He loved football and the first year he was back his team went on to become state champions. Me and Lewis didnt miss a game. It was a really good time.

James went on to college at The Univeristy of Alabama. He loved it and did all the things college kids do. He joined a fraternity and made lots of friends. Me and his Dad split up but James and I remained close. James quit college early and went into real estate. He did a pretty good job at it and had even bought a small townhouse of his own.

We had no idea that things were going bad for James. He wasnt staying in touch like he always did but we figured he was busy. He was working and spending a lot of time with his friends. He looked healthy as always. James was found unconcious on the floor of his bedroom. His roomate had left the night before. They had all been "partying." Drugs, alchohol the whole thing. He wasnt breathing and the paramedics came. He was rushed to the hospital and stayed in a coma for two weeks. He almost lost his arm because the circulation had been cut off for so long. He was there for almost 2 months. The doctors told Lewis that James would be lucky if he would be able to talk and sit up. James defied that prediction.

This was two years ago. James got out of the hospital and started trying to put his life in order. He stumbled a few times but soon things started looking up for him. He was spending a lot of time with his family-his dad, sister, mother and grandmother. He had just started nursing school and the end of last year. I talked to him this past Christmas and we had planned to get together soon. I never got to do that. On March 4, 2008, James was found dead in his apartment. We learned from the autopsy that it was a drug overdose.

James was a wonderful person who at one time took a wrong turn and never found his way back. Hopefully now his struggles are over. I will miss him very much. James was 26. R.I.P.


linda said...

Damn! That is so sad. Struggling with addiction is so difficult. I don't know that from first hand experience, but I have know so many people that have. This is a horrible loss, and my heart goes out to you and his family.

Lynnbug said...

Thank you--the biggest thing is we all wonder what if we had done something different? But really, in the end we did all we could. James was loved by everyone he met. I just wish he could have overcome it.