Okay--final vacation post--rage

This is the post about my vacation that is going to be really hard. Mostly because it is a sensitive subject and if the wrong person reads this it could be bad for me. I mean I could make a lot of people mad at me for writing about this. But I AM MAD. And this blog is a place for me to vent. So after a lot of thought--vent I will. Fuck them all if they get mad.

I have written that Jeff is an addict. He moved to Mississippi after 3 weeks of treatment to get his life together with work and to also get away from the people he used drugs with. His mother is one of those people. And he loves her dearly but he just cant be around her all the time.

When this trip was planned he and Johnny both wanted Gloria to come down. They love her. Understandable. It was made clear that no drugs would be allowed and she agreed wholeheartedly. I will not be around them, not for any reason, not for anybody. Plus, we had Heather and that just would not be good for them to be around her.

The ride down was very pleasant. We had a great time talking and listening to music. My hopes were high that this was going to go very well. About 30 minutes after we got there, Gloria hits the bathroom. And stays and stays. And stays. Johnny is cooking and getting dinner ready acting like all is well. He knew exactly what was going on but was ignoring the situation. Jeff is outside playing with Heather and is unaware. I am inside getting increasingly uneasy.

When she comes out it is obvious she is using drugs. She brought them with her. Riding with them 300 miles with me and Heather putting us at risk. Then she got them around her own son with no regard for his welfare either. I am furious. I could have killed her. I almost left right at that moment.

I go outside and let Jeff know what is going on. When he gets back inside she is back in the bathroom. After she comes out he asks her what she is doing and she denies everything. But it is painfully obvious. We gather Heather up and leave. We stay gone for about 2 hours. When we got back she was done with the drugs- there were no more. And thankfully she didnt start asking for more.

But then the drinking starts. This lady cant drink and she is one of the most obnoxious drunks you will ever be around. It ruins everyones time. She gets mad, she cries, she falls down and she never passes out. She starts going back into the past dregging up everything that anyone has ever done to her. Everyone owes her money and everyone has done her wrong. On Saturday when she wasnt getting her way and everyone was hiding in their trailers to get away from her, she finds me and Jeff and tells him she is dieing of cancer and has 6 months to live. And tells him he is a mother fucker that doesnt love her or care about her. Right in front of Heather all this was said. So sad the child had to witness this stupid drunken bitch acting out. This little incident got her what she wanted. And that was to go to the casino with us so drunk it almost required carrying her. It did require walking beside her and keeping her from falling down. In fact, after being at the casino about 45 minutes, security came up and told her she couldnt drink anymore. Three big security guys. So embarrassing. I could see this didnt go over well and she was going to make a scene, so we had to leave and take her home. We had to sneak back out without her knowing so we could go back out and have the good time we had planned. I was so mad she made up this terrible lie and told Jeff. He didnt know what to believe. I do--she isnt dieing of anything but drug addiction and alcoholism.

The entire weekend was almost ruined and very embarrassing for Jeff. He didnt want his boss and his friends to meet his mother for the first time like this. The last night there she was outside by herself. Everyone was asleep (or hiding) and evidently she fell from the porch and hurt her leg. Jeff's boss found her and put her inside. She couldnt walk. I could have cared less. I am secretly hoping her leg falls off the whole time I am faking concern.

When we got ready to leave I loaded everyones crap in the car. I carried her to the car. Carried her like a baby. She is fussing hoping I got all her stuff. (Look bitch, if you werent such a fuck up you could get your own shit together.) She wanted to go to the ER. I said I had to get back to Alabama and get my dog out of the kennel. I have priorities and it is not someone who disrespeted me like she did. My dog and home was all I was shooting for by this time. I left her on her sisters couch with a bottle of water. I havent went back. I havent called to check on her. I did talk to Jeff and I did find out her leg was only bruised. Figures--drama, drama, drama over a whole bunch of nothing.

Jeff and I are both extremely disappointed with the lack of respect for our wishes. Not to mention how hurt he is. At the same time I called my Mother and thanked her for being my mom. I could have went to jail and Heather would have went to child protective services if we had been pulled over and searched. I will never take her down there again. She went against my wishes and I had made it perfectly clear that she was not to bring or do drugs around me, Jeff or Heather. A lot more than this actually took place. A lot of mean things were said to all of us by his mother. She would wake up sober the next day like nothing had happened, start all over drinking and we would get more of the same.

Fortunately, we made things work and Heather had a good time. We just kept her away from her Grandmother as much as possible. Which wasnt all the time, but most of the time.

So there is my rant. My rage. I wonder if there is anything I could have done better. But Heather had a good time and left without witnessing too much. Some things were just unavoidable. It shouldnt have been that way but it was. This was the reason I had so many reservations about going. Well--one of the reasons. Maybe I shouldnt have written about it on such a public forum. But I am a person who believes if you dont want people knowing your shit, dont shit in public. And I also believe if I got an emotional burden to unload I have every right to do it.