Thursday, September 18, 2008

I Yelled at Momma Today

Yes, I did. For no reason. I did it in front of my boss and his wife. I am so mad at myself.

My back has been hurting for a week. Really hurting. I did something to it when I was working in the yard and the lower part of my back started hurting and it is steadily getting worse. I am sure it doesnt help that I am sleeping on the couch while Momma is visiting. I wont tell her that because she will insist she sleep on the couch and I just couldnt ask her to do that. So my back gets worse and I yelled at her. Great. Just wonderful.

It was over nothing. She came over to the office and we were going to make tomato sandwiches for lunch. I go over to get a tomato and she starts telling me to pick her out some more and also to get her this and this and this. I snapped. I yelled at her that if she didnt mind could we eat lunch before she started ordering me around. And then I cried. And then my boss said I needed to eat and go home. I couldnt be in the office if I felt so bad that it would cause me to yell at people. Momma just sat there. Looking old and sad. I felt like a loser.

I apologized to Momma. I went and got the stuff she needed after we ate. I even got a cup of muscadines to share with her. She was fine about it as soon as I apologized and I should be able to forget it. I cant.

This is one of the things I will always remember and wish I had a do over on. She didnt deserve to be yelled at-much less in front of people. I should have done something a long time ago about my back but I have been hoping 25 ibuprofen a day would make it better. I am also sitting on a heating pad today. I should not get in so much pain that I yell at my Momma.

I just suck sometimes.


Anonymous said...

Oh lynn,
you do not suck girlie. Hey the last time I saw my "MOMMA" if you can call er that I told her to fuck off, so you are better then me hahah.

Linda said...

Lynn-you do not suck!!!
Pain has a way of "taking over", and I am sure that your Mama did not take it personally.
Please forgive yourself.
Would it be possible for you to sleep on the floor rather than the couch? I'm sure it's the lack of support that is aggravating your back. I would also try aleve (naproxen sodium) which has always worked better for me than any other otc pain med.
Feet elevated when you get the opportunity and small amounts of exercise (stretching/minimal leg lifts) will also help.
I feel bad for you. I've suffered from chronic lower back pain for years and years. It makes me crabby too.
Take care and don't worry. Mama still loves you!

Denise said...

I forgot to comment earlier on the whole grocery store post. I think it's hysterical that you said skillet oil. Here we call them frying pans. I laughed so hard. so thanx I will work on adding that into my Lynn impersonation lol. love ya girlie.

Lynnbug said...

Thank ya'll. Momma is okay about it, I am the one who isnt. You are right Linda, a firmer surface would help. The couch is not causing the pain but I know it is aggravating it. I am getting the naproxin this afternoon. It does help a lot better.

Denise when you get you impersonations down really good let me know. It cracks me up!