Yes, I did. For no reason. I did it in front of my boss and his wife. I am so mad at myself.
My back has been hurting for a week. Really hurting. I did something to it when I was working in the yard and the lower part of my back started hurting and it is steadily getting worse. I am sure it doesnt help that I am sleeping on the couch while Momma is visiting. I wont tell her that because she will insist she sleep on the couch and I just couldnt ask her to do that. So my back gets worse and I yelled at her. Great. Just wonderful.
It was over nothing. She came over to the office and we were going to make tomato sandwiches for lunch. I go over to get a tomato and she starts telling me to pick her out some more and also to get her this and this and this. I snapped. I yelled at her that if she didnt mind could we eat lunch before she started ordering me around. And then I cried. And then my boss said I needed to eat and go home. I couldnt be in the office if I felt so bad that it would cause me to yell at people. Momma just sat there. Looking old and sad. I felt like a loser.
I apologized to Momma. I went and got the stuff she needed after we ate. I even got a cup of muscadines to share with her. She was fine about it as soon as I apologized and I should be able to forget it. I cant.
This is one of the things I will always remember and wish I had a do over on. She didnt deserve to be yelled at-much less in front of people. I should have done something a long time ago about my back but I have been hoping 25 ibuprofen a day would make it better. I am also sitting on a heating pad today. I should not get in so much pain that I yell at my Momma.
I just suck sometimes.