What do you do when someone calls you and the first words out of their mouth is "Help me please! I cut too deep. I'm scared!"
First, I had to get my stomach out of my chest. I then tried talking to him and couldnt get anything that made sense out of his mouth. He had been depressed because of a relationship going south. A relationship that was doomed from the beginning, but he got involved anyway. A relationship with someone too young, that is messed up herself. A girl who would still be in high school if she hadnt gotten kicked out of the 12th grade this past year. Despite all the red flags, he got involved anyway and now it is bad and he is depressed.
He works in another state, he does construction and is constantly moving from one place to another. All I know is that right now he is in Louisiana and I am in Alabama. So I called his mother. I called 911. 911 could not trace his phone because it is pre-paid. They called him but he hung up on them. He was alone because he left his house and didnt take roommates with him. He wont tell me where he was.
Ultimately, his mother was able to contact someone and he was fine. When I say fine, he was terribly drunk but had not cut himself. I did not find out he hadnt actually cut himself until two days later. So I am very angry. I am angry that he would scare me that way. I believed him because he has done that before. Cut on himself. I was so terrified and I spent 2 hours trying to get him help while I was at work. I was crying, I felt helpless and I was imagining a funeral for someone I love a whole lot.
I called him to check on him when I found out he was okay. He had apologized to his Mother for scaring her. So far I have not received an apology. He just acts like nothing out of the ordinary happened. That is his M.O. He prefers to avoid the problem or any bad behavior on his part.
So I am angry. I want to think if he hadnt been so drunk this wouldnt have happened. If he does this again, do I ignore him? Do I refuse his calls? Or do I do what I always do and try to protect him and keep him safe?
I dont know what I will do. Right now I will just be angry.