Friday, January 9, 2009

WTF Happens At Walmart After 11:00 P.M.?

God only knows. I have wondered about this ever since I went to work there. Always around 10:30 or 11:00 each night they come. The 17 to 18 year old kids. They come in large groups that whisper to each other and then laugh maniacally. They cut their eyes at you and they are never buying anything. Just "browsing." Hanging out. Drinking Red Bull and eating chips they picked up on the way in the store. Leaving their empties stuffed under something or way down in a bin of DVDs. Trying to do just enough to annoy you but never enough to get into trouble. They make my eye twitch and I am always grateful that it is time for me to leave. I would probably snap on their asses if I had to stay. But I always wonder what goes on after we all leave and the store is left virtually empty except for a skeleton crew that really doesnt care.

This week I was assigned a task that was too remove all DVDs from their wire shelves and clean and dust the shelves. They are filthy with candy wrappers and dust clogging them up and looking really nasty and dirty. So I began my task totally bitching about how disgusting people can be. Yesterday I realized that I could be working and cleaning a toxic waste dump. I spotted it. I didnt believe what I saw at first. So I took a closer look by putting on my glasses. Yep, it was what I thought it was----a CONDOM! Laying under the wire at the bottom of the shelf. Noooooo! Fuck! You got to be kidding me! I fished it out with a long wire being extremely careful not to let it touch me. Then I swept it up into the dust pan and got rid of it.

You may ask--"Was it still in the wrapper?" -- No--in fact it was full blown unrolled.
You may also ask---"Was it used?" --- I have no freakin' idea--I didnt want to know and would never inspect it that closely.
And then there is what my dear friend Denise asked in her sweet childlike voice--"Was it FLAVORED?"---Yeah--cherry flavored ----Hell no! I wouldnt touch it do you think I would lick it? (We laughed hysterically!)

After all is said and done and I get over the grossness of this all I can do is ask



Hide.. Literally! said...

People are down right nasty! I cannot phathom putting a condom anywhere obviously but what I really can't imagine is having sex anywhere near Wal-Mart. I love late night shopping with the crazies but that's just down right disgusting.. Kudos to you because I probably would've thrown up. Have a great weekend!!

Linda said...

All I can say is EWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
I would have screamed as if it was "alive", and then promptly placed a couple of DVD'S on top of it. I am a stellar employee.

Denise said...

I told Linda this on the phone last night, and I imitated your voice. I just kept picturing you trying to get the condom out. We laughed and laughed. Especially at how appalled you were when I asked you if it was flavered! Haha. I would have flung it up in the rafters and screamed too!

Oh and i do not have a child like voice!

Lynnbug said...

yes you do Denise. yes you do.


gwendomama said...

HAHA! Denise slays me.

What I want to know is, if there are 17 yo boys jacking off between the CD sections, why do they need condoms?

Lynnbug said...

I dont know--I cant wrap my mind around it!

Denise said...

Oh gross! good point G! Oh and Lynn.... Linda says there is nothing sweet about me hahaha, but that I do have a child like voice.