Saturday, June 20, 2009

Happy Father's Day

It has been over 18 years since Daddy passed away. Well, died. He died. He didnt pass away. He is gone and there isnt a nice or good way to say it.

I still miss him just as bad as I did the day he died. If he were here, there are so many things I would want to tell him. For one, he was right about EVERYTHING! He always was right no matter what and the reason he was is because he had lived his life and experienced things I hadnt and he knew what he was talking about when he gave me advice.

The second thing I would tell him is that I always felt his love. Daddy was a really good father. He was kind, he was honest as the day is long, he was wise, very wise. Daddy worked hard all his life to give us the things we needed. At Christmas, I can remember opening presents and he would just sit there waiting to see the look on our faces as we opened our gifts. All he wanted was for us to be happy and yelling and screaming for joy over what he and Momma had gotten us. That was his Christmas, knowing how happy we were.

Daddy, I wish you were here. I wish you could see what Amber has done. She has gone and went and given birth to twins! Two of the most wonderful children. Kenzy is just like she was and Owen is a ton like TJ, but I have to admit he is more like Ken. You would love these children and get just as much joy out of them as Momma, Me, Kim and Amber does.

If you were here I would come over and watch old westerns with you and pretend to want to change the channels while we watched them together. I know how you loved Gunsmoke and Bonanza. I like them too but enjoyed messing with you and the remote. Good times.

I would also get down the cereal and milk and we could eat it together. I still love cereal as much as you did. Then me and you could take a nap. I think naps are the bomb and you never missed one either.

I would also tell you about all my ups and downs. The fact that I still have not married and Im beginning to wonder if I ever will. But I would also tell you that I have come to believe that not being married does not dimish who I am. I am still Lynn Averett and I am still a good person and my life still means something. I think that is all you wanted me to believe, was that my life meant something. You tried to teach all of us that. It has taken a long time for me to believe that.

It is the little things I miss the most. Your love of ugly flowers and gawdy Christmas decorations. The way you loved Momma was huge. I could be so lucky to find someone to love me like you loved her. It still amazes me when I think about how much you both loved each other and in turn, that love wsa passed on to us, your children.

You were with me through thick and thin. I didnt hold back anything, I put you through a lot! But the one thing I knew, I knew you would always be there no matter what with the unconditional love you held for me and Chris and Kim. It was there, and it was real. Your love for us was deep. We were very fortunate. You never criticized us, you always disciplined us with a loving hand and words of wisdom.

You were a good man.

I still love you so much.


Denise said...

Aww Lynn! What a great post! Soo appropriate. It brought tears to my eyes. Love you!

Linda said...

Lynn, I read this last night and for some reason couldn't comment. I think something was up with blogger.
This was so heartfelt and touched me beyond belief.Your daddy sounds like someone that would have had my own heart...What wonderful word for a wonderful man!
My Dad died 21 years ago. Sometimes that takes my breath away,because I can't believe that I've lived without him for that long! He would be 98 years old this year. I can picture him as he was, but can't imagine how cute he would be at 98. One of my fondest memories from childhood his sitting at the kitchen table eating sardines right out of the can with him. Sardines on crackers.
I don't even think that I really like them, but it was something that he loved so I ate them with him. He was a business man, so he wore a suit and tie to work everyday. I can still smell his Old Spice, and he had the softest hands in the world. They were man hands, but since he didn't do much physical work other than around the house, his hands were like velvet. Those hands made me feel so safe.He was fun and funny and we never went anywhere that he didn't run into someone he knew. It didn't even matter what "state" we were in, he found someone that he knew...I was always so proud to be his little girl!
Even though I think of him very often, thank you for reminding me to think of all the little things...

Linda said...

I'm still getting used the keyboard on this laptop--please forgive for the mis-spellings...seems like I added or left off a few letters in words....

Mrs4444 said...

I'm certain that my kids will write a letter like that one day; it's as though you were writing about Mr.4444, who is a wonderful dad. I believe that your dad received your message.

Jenn said...

This makes me sad in ways I can't express, on many levels.