Sometimes I feel so alone. Basically I am. Outside of my online friends there is no one around me except my work associates. That blows. I talk on the phone to my friends but most a far away. My life is a merry-go-round of work and home. The dog and cat and my computer. I would most likely go crazy if it werent for the computer.
Today I am depressed about all this. My best friend who I have known for years stopped by last night on her way home from the airport. She spent the night and we had a great time. With Tina there is nothing special you have to do when she comes. We lay around and chat, most of the time I get the only back rub I ever get and she does too. We are just so comfortable around each other no matter how long it has been since we have seen each other. I havent seen Tina since last year before Thanksgiving. We had a great time and she left to go on home today. I didnt want her to leave and it made me very sad when she did.
Seeing her and having her around caused me to realize that I am really missing out on a lot of life by not having anyone in my life. No one. I havent seen the babies in forever. I havent seen my Mother in 3 months. Forget about friendships and relationships - that isnt even something I consider anymore. It is just depressing. Totally.
I dont think I realized until right at this moment that I am lonely and depressed. I have been too busy to think about it.
But I am.