Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Getting Started Doing What I Hate to Do--MOVE!

I started packing today. I hate packing. Absolutely hate packing. Even though I wont be leaving till the end of the month, I know this has to be done. Plus, I get so stressed when I move. My mind just spins constantly with anxiety. It doesnt take much to get me overwhelmed. It helps to go ahead and work toward my goal.

This move is going to be different than the previous moves. I am moving into someone else's house. I wont be using all my stuff. So I have to figure out what I want to keep inside and what will go outside in the shed. I dont want to just go in a take over the house. Although I can tell you, since it is a man, there is a lot of room for improvement. But my mind tells me that any changes I make will have to be slow ones. I dont want to offend. Lester really likes this one horrid picture hanging in his living room. Not only is it horrid, it is hung all wrong. Just stuck in the middle of the wall. A big wall, with a small picture, right in the middle. Nice shit. I am already devising a way to keep it there for him but to put other pictures around it to make it more appealing. But again, that will be later on after I have settled in and kind of let everyone get comfortable with me. I think about a week. That should do it.

I am also nervous because I havent lived with any one in 3 years. I'm not counting the disaster of Mandy moving in with me for 2 weeks. That doesnt count. I think this particular decision will work out. I have given it a lot of thought and we have been discussing this for some time. I have no problem with male roommates. They are different than women. And my friend is a good man. He is kind of quiet and works really hard at his job and with his farm. We have different hours, our time together will be limited. I do enjoy his company though. We laugh the entire time we are together. I am also lonely. You all know how often I have talked about this. The loneliness is getting bad. I want to be around people more. I have become a computer freak and my only socialization is online playing Mafia Wars with the clan I am in. I talk to them live on Ventrillo and they have saved my sanity more than once when I was depressed and lonely. But it just isnt enough. I also think there is something unnatural about not having real life live friends. My clan friends said it best--"There is something wrong with all of us in one way or another or we wouldnt spend so much of our time here" I think that is right. Not that Im ditching them or anything, I just need a little more. Cyber friends cant hug you when you are down, or go out to eat with you, watch a movie with you, etc. You get the drift.

So today is a day of packing and Im loading my car up and taking it down to the farm tomorrow afternoon.

So it begins. My new adventure!

No comments: