Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Mother and Me

My mother is 82 years old. She is quite beautiful for her age and has a heart of gold. She is typical of most mothers in the fact the her children can do no wrong. Her mind is still as sharp as a tac, but her hearing is fading. I know this because when I talk to her she acts like she hears me, but when she answers me it is a totally different subject. Not to mention that later on she will bring up what I had already been talking about earlier. And I also find that more and more I have to tell her the same things over and over. It takes a lot of patience sometimes.

We are very close. We haven't always been close. When Daddy was alive I was closer to him. I was Daddy's girl. I believe that a lot times me and Mother competed for Daddy's attention. But after Daddy died, I slowly began to move towards her and appreciate her for the mother she is.

Mother thinks we are still little children that she has to take care of. I have to be careful not to talk to Mother about my financial situation unless I am being positive about it. Otherwise, a check will come in the mail or when I leave her house money will be stuffed down into my purse. She is on SS so she doesn't have a lot. But what she has she will gladly give to her children.

Mother stood by me through the worst of my addiction. I have wished many times that I did not put her through all those horrible days and nights. Some of them were really bad. She would cry and beg me to get help. And I would not. I would scream and yell at her. It got so bad she wouldn't have anything to do with me. She discovered tough love. That was a bitch at first. But I finally got help. Even though I haven't forgotten all the stuff I put her through, she has. In fact, I think she loves me more. I guess one of the reasons is that my recovery has helped me see how much I love her and how much she loves me.

Mother gets so excited about spending time with me or any of her kids. The week after I move I am going to get her and let her stay with me for a week. I wont let her come to the trailer park. I am afraid it will make her sad to see where I live. I told her I wanted her to come to my new place about a month ago. I talk to her every day and every day she talks about coming and asks how many days until I move. (Just like a kid isn't it?) She has so many plans about what she is going to cook and how many plants we are going to put out on my patio.

There was a time in my life when a week with Mother would not have been considered. I am glad that it is not like that now.


Denise said...

That is beautiful. You are lucky to love her like that. I would sooner poke myself in the eye with a hot needle, then subject myself to a week with my mom.

Lynnbug said...

Believe me Denise, 10 years ago, even 5 years ago I would never have done it either. And dont think it is always lovely, we have our moments. They are just not as extreme or as often as they used to be.

Linda said...

Very cool, Lynn. Very cool...We should all be so lucky.