I had a wake up call recently. It is about my physical appearance and my health. They most likely go hand in hand. I had been away from the internet for sometime because of money issues. When I got my current job, I was able to get back on the web. When I did I found the photo you see in my profile to the right. That photo was taken 4 years ago. Now here is what I look like today:
This makes me sick to my stomach to look at. The weight gain is the most telling on me. And my hair definately needs some work along with my make up. Now granted--when the photo in my profile was taken I made enough money to get my hair done professionally. I was also able to take better care of my health because I had kick ass insurance. Things changed. And it looks like I did too.
So what do I do now? I need a plan. A good plan that I can stick to. One, I need to get on a healthy diet. I need to lose weight and try to maintain good blood sugar levels. I know how to eat healthy but I dont for whatever reason. Depression causes me to eat for comfort. Then I get more depressed cause I eat a whole box of cookies! So much for comfort. I also need to cut my hair and take better care of my outward appearance. Some nice color would be good to cover up that blond/orange effect I have going. I didnt realize it looked like that. But up against my nice profile photo it is very obvious that this is not the color for me.
I talked to my best friend about the differences in then and now for me. She is truly a best friend. She said the only difference she sees if that my boobs sag more! HELLO!--you dont see the weight gain? She says the beauty inside is what counts and I am beautiful. And she says most people comment about my eyes being pretty more than anything else. I cant even see my eyes in the photo above. They are covered in fat. I look like I dont have them open. She also said I need a man and I could find one if I made myself available. But it isnt about a man for me. I dont really want one. I dont feel healthy, pretty or anything positve when I look like this. And it is affecting my self-esteem.
I need to do something about this and I plan to. I want to get motivated and I am hoping this move will motivate me. A change in scenery will help. The money I will save after this move will help. So I am going to give this all a lot of thought this weekend. I am going to get ready to make the positive changes I need to.
By the way--on a lighter note-this is my pretty little momma!