So my ex of 13 years called me the other day. I thought, "here we go again." The reason I say that is because we have been apart about 6 years and everytime he gets without a regular girlfriend I become his fill-in fuck. But that wasnt what he wanted. Good thing really because I was going to tell him no, not anymore. I am truly bored with it and there are too many good TV shows on right now so I dont have the time.
Actually he has been dating a girl I have known for quite a while. She is a really nice girl--funny, beautiful, blond, got a little money--you know the kind--the kind you want to hate but cant cause they are too damned nice.
Lewis wanted me to call her because she broke it off with him after a date that went bad. He wanted me to help him fix it. I didnt really want to do that but my curiosity over what he had done this time overcame everything that told me I shouldnt, so I did. See he never tells the complete truth about the situation--he is always the victim.
Basically she told me she just didnt think the relationship was right for her. they had talked of getting married but he just couldnt give her what she needs. The argument they had brought it all to light for her and she wasnt going to ever be with him again. Pretty clear to me.
I told him what she said and he whinned a bit and talked about how hard he had tried. I really believe he did. When I saw them together at his son's funeral I knew he was madly in love. He just acted different with her than I had ever seen him act with me or anyone else. He is a really good man, just very, VERY sef-centered. He told me that he accepted what she said and he would leave her alone. He just couldnt understand why she had left him without even telling him all this and why. He thought that is was terrible that she would end the relationship without some type of discussion or warning.
That is when I just thought WTF? And I reminded him that after 13 years with him, raising his kids, going through all his bad times, practically giving up my life for him to help him rebuild his, he left for work one day and just didnt come back. It was 2 weeks after he left that I found out he was living with another woman. At first I thought he had just went to his house to get a little space. He never said NOTHING to me. We werent even in an argument. I told him I thought I deserved better than that. He agreed that I did, that EVERYBODY did. I let him know that perhaps he had come full circle and that he should be able to learn from this. (I wanted to say what comes around goes around) Afterall, he really does know what happened and to sit on the other end of the phone and try and convince me and himself that he doesnt is bullshit.
We have remained friends since our breakup. At least we did after I got over what he did to me so long ago. I still care a lot about him. He kinda makes you feel sorry for him. Because he is so unaware of the selfish things he does and he never understands why his relationships go bad. And I think he really tried and did love this girl.
I know one thing---he WILL call and want me to come to his house for a fill-in. That I am sure of. But I am very preapred to tell him as nicely and gently as possible that I aint going down that road anymore. I let that happen too many times. I think he may know that but it wont stop him from trying.