Monday, June 23, 2008

Weekend Update

I went to visit mother yesterday. We had a great time and went out to eat at Longhorn's. It was really good. It has been a long time since I have eaten there. I had the bourbon salmon. Yummy.

When we got through eating she announced she wanted to go to Walmart to get flowers for Daddy's grave. Not my favorite thing to do. I think I have been to Daddy's grave twice since he died. I should be ashamed but it is one of those things that I avoid with the plague. I want the grave to be taken care of and all that, but she has always done it herself. She doesnt have a car anymore so she relies on my sister who lives in town with her to take her. Apparrently that has not happened lately so I got nominated.

I couldnt say no and I had to act up beat about it so she wouldnt feel like she was imposing on me. She wasnt--I just hate to go. When I was there I figured out why I dont like to go. I used to say it was because he isnt there--it is just a grave. But as Iwas leaving I realized that even though his spirit isnt there his body is. The body the provided a home for his spirit. The arms that hugged me and the face that showed off his beautiful eyes and wonderful smile.

And I realized the reason I dont want to go is because I always feel like I am leaving him in a place all by himself with none of his family. Crazy way to feel I know.

We had a good day even though I didnt want to do that. I felt better because I took the older flowers that we took off and I put them on a grave of a woman by the name of Mamie that didnt have any flowers at all. I told mother to make sure she always gave Mamie some flowers because she is buried by herself and she died in 1970. I bet she doesnt have anyone to take care of her. Nothing looks much sader than a grave with no flowers.

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