Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Fatty Issues

I have talked and talked about my weight gain. I still have not done anything about it. I weigh 220lb. right now. This is the most I have weighed in 10 years. I am totally upset and depressed about it.

I have went over all the things that have changed with myself to cause this much weight gain. At least 10lbs of this came after I got on insulin. The biggest change I can think of is I am on so much medication for my diabetes and the high blood pressure. Every medication the doctor give me says "may cause weight gain." Yep--that translates to you will become as large as a house. I am not as active as I used to be either. Probably because I get so tired from carrying around all the weight. I get out of breath brushing my fucking hair these days.

I joined thinking that would help. Not so much. Just another website to go to and it bores me. If they had a message board over there so I could talk to other fat people it would help. I like the online interaction with people. It just seems to help if I have the support. I have thought about looking for another diet site and maybe I will. The key is they have to be FREE. I dont have any extra cash to pay. If anyone knows of a site that has what I am talking about please let me know.

I am just not motivated. I was crying yesterday about my weight and I still ate right at an entire cantaloupe just a minute ago. Maybe I should just stay fat. But that would require new clothes and I cant bring myself to go into the store and start buying 2x clothing. I just want to shoot myself in the head.

Or stab myself in the eye.


Denise said...

Oh girlfriend,
Please don't do either of those things. I started my diet last July and have lost 41 lbs. I started by cutting out butter and cheese. I use the spray butter. I also only eat mayo when I go out, and I have cut down on the portion side of things.
I have went down 3 to four sizes depending on what kind of pants they are.
Email me or call me I will be your personal cheerleader. If I can do it so can you. Oh I also cut out chocolate too and only eat baked chips.
Good luck girlie, I love ya.

Lynnbug said...

I dont eat a lot of cheese--margerine is another thing. I love it. I have already decided to buy the spray butter at your suggestion a while back. Im doing that today. Bread is a problem for me and I need to cut that one out. Cutting out fat is the key I believe.

And I will call you and e-mail cuz I do need something or someone to help. I just feel miserable at this weight. I mean--its getting hard to wipe my ass. Sorry to be so blunt about that.

Linda said...

Eating an entire cantaloupe isn't that bad. Maybe 200 calories? That's the kind of thing you "should" eat. Lots of fruit and veggies.
Please don't get discouraged. Like anything that a person is trying to change or stop, losing weight is a slow process. Set small goals for yourself, and just keep on keepin' on.
Have you tried keep track of what you eat? Maybe you should do that for a couple of days, and then see where your downfalls are.
I will continue to search for encouraging sites/ message boards for you.
I would love to lose weight too, and know that I would if I cut out the nightly cocktails, but that's not gonna happen. :p

Lynnbug said...

Hell--I was thinking about ADDING nightly cocktails!