The eyes have it

I went for my yearly eye exam tuesday. I hate to have my eyes examined. This is the worst type of exam for me. I would rather get a pap smear every month than have an eye exam once a year. (Actually when I had this really hot Dr. Dreamy guy I looked forward to my pap. I made excuses to see him. I think I developed unusual feelings for him)

But Im getting off track. My eyes are really bad and it is hard for me to focus. The doctor will be flipping those lenses and saying "which is better 1 or 2? Now 3 or 4?" They usually have the chart on a line that is so small all I see are dots and they are determined they will make it to where I can read it. This type of thing can go on for an hour. She was doing that and finally I just said "All I can see is dots. Nothing is better or worses it all looks the same!" So she gives me hints. "The last two are numbers." Like that helps! She wants me to guess and maybe if I have it right she can write me the wrong prescription? BTW--did you know most of the eye charts are the same? My boss said you can memorize it. I say WTF for? What good would that do?

I always get a headache too. The lights they shine in your eyes would be a good type of interrogation for terrorists. Look down, look to the side, look to the other side. The light is so bright I cant tell where I am looking. But I do know it hurts and my eyes get all watery and I get hot and start sweating.

But she was doing her job and doing it well. I really appreciated her patience with me and the time she spent looking at my eyes.

It seems diabetes is now affecting my eyes. Great. I have a hemorrhage behind my right eye from high blood sugars. But only one she said. I guess this was supposed to make me feel better. I am sure this happened right before I went on insulin because my daily blood sugar was in the 300's and that is very high. Plus the hemorrhage wasnt there last year. So I have to go back in 6 months instead of a year and let her shine lights in my eyes again. Plus she is re-checking me for glaucoma. It seems I am also borderline on the pressure behind my eye and it is indicative of glaucoma.

Glaucoma is totally treatable but how the FUCK am I supposed to pay for the medicine? I have no insurance. I really hope this is just a thing and I will have normal pressure in 6 months. I really dont need another disease.

Also, everytime I go they dilate my eyes. Im sure everybody gets their eyes dilated but I think everything is just about me. This dilation is so they can shine the lights and see back there. After they do that it takes several hours for my eyes to return to normal, but they send you right on out into the bright daylight to drive home. It was HORRIBLE driving home.

My eyes havent changed much. I wanted to get multi-focal lenses but she says I am not a candidate for them. Because my eyes are too bad. The best she can do is get my sight up to where I see really good far off and then I have to wear readers to see up close. I am not a candidate for extended wear lenses either. Well, I thought that was what I was wearing. No! I am wearing daily wear lenses and I am supposed to take them out every night! Well, I havent been doing that. I usually take them out about once a month - a lot less than I should if I had been wearing extended wear lenses. I mean once a month is abusive even if I had extended wear. Now I find out I have been wearing daily wear and I have caused blood vessels to grow around the lens. That is just great too. Im going to have bulging eyes with big read blood vessels in them. I am going to look like a freak if I dont start treating my eyes better. A blind freak.

I left with a massive headache, normal light outside blinding me and realizing I am going to have to take these damn things out every night. I was bummed out.

Last night I forgot to take them out. Figures. I probably have Alzheimers too. It runs in my family.