Friday, October 10, 2008

I am told I am unreasonable

Last night Jeff called and it ended in one of our more serious fights. Not an argument but a fight.

Ever since I went down to visit on the 4th of July and his mother pulled her shit I have stayed strong in my commitment never to let that woman in my car again. Never to be used by her or Jeff as a car ride down to see him. Never to be disrespected by her again. Never to be lied to. Never to put myself in a environment that I am uncomfortable with again.

Last night when he called he was all sweet and nice. This is about the third time he has called and done this. He's been building up for something and this is how he works me. See I know him. I was waiting on the truth to come out behind these "I miss you so much and I want to see you soon" bullshit conversations. (There may be additional swearing in this post so if you are easily offended you may want to stop reading now.)

Anyway, he asked me what I was doing in 2 weeks and could I come to Louisiana. His work has moved him to Louisiana so he is even further away than he was when he was in Mississippi. Well, I dont know about most people, but for me a trip that far calls for a little more planning. See I have a job that I go to and cant just drop everything on the spur. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Jeff, I dont think that is possible. I have to board Lucky and she needs her shots before I can do that. Your talking about $200.00 bucks just for that. Not to mention the expense of a trip. I also have bills.

Jeff: (interrupts me) I will pay for everything. (which is usually a lie)

Me: But there is more than just Lucky, I have to check schedules at work, ask off and all kinds of stuff.

Jeff: (interrupts me) Bring Lucky with you.

Me: Oh yea--I cant bring a 60 pound dog over 400 miles. A dog that threw up 4 times when I moved her from Woodstock to Westover, which is only 50 miles. No--I wont put her through that or myself through that.

Jeff: Put her in a cage

Me: I dont have a cage and that doesnt solve the throwing up.

Jeff: She'll be okay--she is JUST A DOG.
Me: (eye twitching over the just a dog statement. Deep breath) Well, Jeff - I wont bring her, but I will do what I said and check schedules and then we can go from there. And you would have to send me the money for the vet and the money for gas for a round trip in advance. (I would have to make sure it was paid for--remember last time there was a problem with that.)

Jeff: Well, Mom wants to come and she will pay for gas.

WARNING! WARNING! BAM! THERE IT IS!

Me: I wont be bringing your mother.

Jeff: (screeming a little) Why!?

Me: Because of the shit she pulled last time. I dont know how many times you are going to ask me to bring her back and how many times Im going to have to say no, but I will say it again-no.

Jeff: Well she is my mother and I want to see her--you have pulled awful stuff in your life too.

Me: I dont disagree--(Im getting irritated by this time) but right now I am not in the habit of letting someone use me again that doesnt have the decency to respect me while she does it.

Jeff: You are being an unreasonable Bitch. I want to see my mother and you need to bring her!

Me: (Highly pissed at the last statement-who are you,--My Daddy?) I wont be bringing her.

Jeff: She is thinking about moving here and she wants to come down and see what its like. Bring her!

Me: Oh--so this is what all the "I miss you and want to see you comments were about". Manipulation. I tell you the best thing you can do is put her skinny ass on a bus and bring her down that way! (Im screeming) Dont think you can even try to make me do anything I dont want to do!

Jeff: Fucking Bitch! And he hung up.

So I sat for awhile and gave this all a lot of thought. Probably a mistake. I could have been paying more attention to Grey's Anatomy and been better off. So after about 15 minutes I call him back.

Jeff: Yeeeees. (Cause he thinks I caved)

Me: (Screeming very loudly) Who the fuck do you think you are? Dont you ever fucking hang up on me again! Dont you ever try to manipulate me by thinking I so besotted with you I would continue to do things I dont want to do just to please you. You think Im afraid your going to leave me or something? NOT!

Jeff: Laughing

Me: Im going to tell you one more time--Dont EVER hang up on me again you little shit, Dont ask me to ever put that woman in my car again. She will NEVER, EVER set foot in my car for any reason again! Her own son-your little brother will not even bring her. What the fuck does that tell you! Nobody wants to be around her and be subjected to her crack smoking, crawiling on the floor bullshit!

Jeff: He hung up

So that was me being mature. Yea right. The problem is I know him well enough that he still thinks he will be able to get me to do it. I know him. He will try a different approach. He wait a few days and call back apologizing and acting depressed and crying. I know it. I will let you know when--but the countdown to the next act has already started.

Why the hell do I choose the men I choose? I should have walked away the minute I met him 5 years ago.

6 comments:

Linda said...

Lynn, just don't answer his calls. I know that's easier said than done, but you don't deserve to be treated like that. Since you know he is manipulative the best thing is to just not talk to him.
I hope that you don't feel guilty about any part of it. Your job is to take care of YOU. Not Jeff or his family, and you certainly are not being unreasonable. Stick to your guns, and be proud of yourself!
And that statement about "it's just a dog", makes me want to poke Jeff in the eye with a sharp stick!!!

Lynnbug said...

I HATE when people say Its Just a Dog! God! I always want to say back "And you are just an idiot."

Hide.. Literally! said...

So you know that I sugar coat nothing right. Here's your last statement..

Im going to tell you one more time--Dont EVER hang up on me again you little shit, Dont ask me to ever put that woman in my car again. She will NEVER, EVER set foot in my car for any reason again! Her own son-your little brother will not even bring her. What the fuck does that tell you! Nobody wants to be around her and be subjected to her crack smoking, crawiling on the floor bullshit!

This is what I would have said with that.. Ready.. Set.
"If you ever choose to call me a bitch again I'm going to show you what this bitch is capable of - why would I do for you and put my dog through hell for your ass when the dog treats me better. She's your momma - you want her go get her but this bitch is done caving for your whiny lame ass.."

How did I do. The part of "It's just a dog.." would have sent me over the edge. I gotta check your blog this weekend cause if you cave over the weekend I'm going to have to come out there and show Jeff what a Utah bitch is..

Damn men, making you miss Grey's Anatomy!! Please..

Have a great weekend beautiful..

Lynnbug said...

Thank you Heidi--and Im not going to cave. A couple years ago I would have but I am so past that with him. For one--it is not good for him. Two--its not good for ME. He forgets he just relapsed two weeks ago and all that came out of it was AA, NA and CA is a bunch of crap and doesnt work. He thinks because he hit a lick at it for 2 weeks he is supposed to be cured. Time will change his mind on that one. But when his mind is changed, he will know the way to get help, he wont need me.

Im not going to cave. I am no where near it. I can show him better than I can tell him.

Anonymous said...

Lynn,
I have known you for 6 years and you have come so far. You used to be alot more of a mush. When I say mush I mean before you would have said ok fine! Now you have more of a no tolerance for bullshit attitude. Am I rubbing off on you? Keep saying no and tell Jeff to fuck off. I am not an animal person but that "it's just a dog" comment even pissed me off.
Love you girlie.
Denise

Lynnbug said...

Thank you Denise--I am not a mush anymore. I just dont feel like being one today. Im so tired of bullshit. You may be rubbing off on me! That is probably a good thing!