Monday, January 19, 2009

Bring A Gun With You When You Come

I was talking to my friend Denise the other day and in passing I mentioned you cant buy beer or booze on Sunday in Tuscaloosa County. She was floored! She was totally surprised and I didnt realize that most places do sell beer on Sunday. Down here it is not unusual to see a mad rush to the corner store on Saturday to stock up for Sunday, usually at least a case.

I got to thinking about life in Alabama. Every state is different. Since I think everything we do here is "normal" I googled "southern traditions and lifestyles."

But first about the alcohol sales. In most counties you cant buy beer on Sunday. I cant think of one county you can buy booze in. Also, (hold onto yourself) there are still a few "dry" counties where no alcohol at all is sold. Ever. Those are really bummer counties. They do have boot leggers that will sell you some from the back door of their house for a nominal price.

In the south sweet tea is the most popular drink. I was amazed to find out sweet tea is not popular every where.

We eat grits. No--grits is not the acronym for Girls Raised In The South. It is a hot cereal derived from corn. It's good, but most people outside of the south dont know what it is.

If your car breaks down on the side of the road everyone will stop to help you. If nothing else, they will stop and stand around your car, smoke cigarettes and generally keep you company until someone who really can help stops.

Everyone has a gun. Except me. Guns are in almost every home and it is not unusual to see most pick up trucks with gun racks in the back window loaded down with shotguns during hunting season. I dont have a gun, dont want a gun and I am afraid of guns. I get a pass on this one because I have lived here all my life.

If you google Alabama Traditions the first thing that comes up is Alabama football. So true, football comes right after religion. Since Alabama is the heart of the bible belt that makes football pretty important. I am guilty of this one. People have actually killed each other over a rival football game. Now that is kind of sad but so true. Beer is usually involved. Go figure.

Grilling out. When the weather is good (at least 40 degrees) most meat is cooked outside on the grill. It is wonderful. When I grill, I cook tons of meat to last all week. Everyone has the idea that they are the best griller in the land and competition can become fierce in a neighborhood. Please remember that most of the time, beer is involved so you could get shot if you brag too much or diss someone else's barbecue.

People here are very conservative. There are a lot of people who are older that still dont realize or believe in the civil rights movement. If you live out in the rural areas, the prejudice beliefs are still bred into the children. The people of this state can be very backwards in their thinking. The same feelings go for the gay community. This is not accepted by most people in Alabama. I have no tolerance for this way of thinking. I try to give the older people a pass on this -but I get very angry when these beliefs are passed on to children.

Alabama is a republican state. I am a democrat. I am a square peg in a round hole and my tongue is raw from biting it at times. I have spoken out and got into some terrible arguments and debats about my liberal beliefs. I have to be careful whn I speak out, I have to make sure beer is not involved.

But with all it flaws, I like Alabama. It is a beautiful state, with lots of countryside. I dont socialize with my neighbors much, but I know they are there if I need them. People work hard and play hard. It is a laid back type of life where people speak to each other and ask "Hi! How are you - how's your mom and them?" You may not know everyone in your town personally, but you recognize every face. If someone moves in that isnt from your area you know it. You will be accepted if you can get with the program and love football and beer and you love God and Country.

Buying a gun helps too.


Denise said...

This post cracked me up! I was shocked the first time that I went to visit Linda and you couldn't buy booze at the grocery store. We had to go to the liquor store. Here we can buy it every where. Walmart, Rite aide Longs.
And that whole grilling thing.... Do they teach that at an early age? Because hello I don't know how to grill.
Danny's cousin lives in Birmingham and she said that it rare to see a biracial couple, let alone a gay couple.
Thanx for making me laugh this morning.

Linda said...

Wow! What an insight to life in the south.
Bruce would totally fit in. He has several guns, and would be the first to stop and help someone with car trouble. Oh well, he might actually "stand out", because he would be under the hood or fixin' the flat-and not smoking!!